Season Tickets Forced Coupling

[BigGrantHolt]

So, the new season bring a new season ticket for me and a whole host of new concerns.

Will I sit next to

A ) Someone cool, with balanced fair opinions and an understanding of the invisible personal space divide of seating and smelling of at least a bare minimum - Lynx Africa.

or...

B ) Someone who makes IpswichCrazy sound like someone on Question Time, their legs stay permanently open so our knees must continue to rub against each other whilst smelling of Barry Fry's bumcrack.

We are forced together like...work colleagues and neighbours.

Where do you sit? And any stories of annoying twonks you have to accept?

 

[Beauseant]

I've got a guy behind me who pontificates throughout the game without revealing a shred of evidence that he actually knows anything about football. We also have another guy nearby who works himself into a fever pitch of negativity before screaming at the manager and players like a hysterical woman. Oh, and Mr Switch who regularly screams "Switch" at random points, the most memorable while Leon Barnett was pinned near his own cornerflag. You're going to love it!

 

[Yellowfuture]

I've got " hit im" in front of be. An ageing man who sits impassively without saying a word, and then for no apparant reason jumps up out of his seat and starts shouting "hit im" and waving his fist in the air. It's great ere!

 

[Canaryboy]

If you do get stuck besides somebody insufferable, do the club let you switch seats or do you have to try and tolerate them for a year? 

 

[BarclayBoy88]

If you do get stuck besides somebody insufferable, do the club let you switch seats or do you have to try and tolerate them for a year? 

I'm sure if you really wanted to switch they would try their best to accommodate it. Easier to do if you have just a single seat. 

 

[Scott]

I'm in the Upper Barclay near the front, and there is some funny characters around there I'll tell you that now! I've never seen some people get so worked up over the football. Some hilarious chants and good banter though.

 

[Gorlestongirl]

I've had the same seat in the Jarrold now for 7 seasons, and have all that time sat next to a young lad who has grown from a sweetie chomping 8 year old to a strapping young man of 15. I always look forward to seeing him after the break to see how he's changed. Last year his voice broke; the year before he got to be taller than me.

 

[Leedscanary]

Swwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttccccccchhhhhh!

Reckon I'll be able to hear him from my new seat this season Robin!

 

[The Ghost of Michael Theo]

The guy I sit next to is a nightmare. He's always on the players backs. Never supports them, and is very nervy and grates everyone around with him telling everyone that the oppo are about to score. He annoys me so much.....

.... but he's my father-in-law, so I'm stuck.

(He's is a lovely bloke, and I love his company - just not to watch football with)

I appoligise in advance to our new neighbours this season in the front of the Upper N&P in section P.

 

[Beauseant]

Swwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttccccccchhhhhh!

Reckon I'll be able to hear him from my new seat this season Robin!

 He's pretty loud Kev!

 

[morty]

Upper Barclay here.

I have an amazingly sweary guy on my right, who is quite funny actually, I swear he is going to explode soon. Guy on the left is okay, theres a woman somewhere behind me that shrieks every time the opposition get the ball, and I have a few grumblers sat in front, not too bad really. Theres a guy somewhere within earshot on the left that is one of those "You're rubbish Elmander" types, and I have shouted back at him a few times lol.

I sat next to an old bloke at the Celte Vigo game who did nothing but whinge how awful we were for 90 minutes, the highlight being whining that we needed wide players on, when at that point we actually had virtually every wide player we own, on the field.

I used to have a guy near me who would just shout, over and over, "Use the space"

 

[splutcho]

I haven't had a season ticket for a long time now, but we used to have a family behind us that we nicknamed The Meldrews. There was Father Meldrew who took great happiness in screaming "No we're not! No we're not!" at people singing that we were gonna win the league. He also loved the phrase "Hospital ball" but seemed to have no idea what it meant. Then there was Mother Meldrew that used to just tut at her husband and look like she really couldn't care less about football. We also had Girl Meldrew that used to wet her little knickers whenever Paul Mcveigh had the ball, and would scream "Leave Macca alone" at anyone that criticised him. Finally there was my personal favourite Boy Meldrew, that used to spasm and convulse when we lost the ball, and often used to punch himself in the face when we conceded a goal. I wish I was joking.

 

[splutcho]

But with that in mind, whenever I make a game at the Carra, I ALWAYS, without fail get sat near some whining bloody idiot. I always have to say something as well, because I just can't stand parting with money to be subjected to that all game.

 

[Keckers]

Jarrold - Block L - lower middle.

I'm probably one that people complain about ha ha. I'm often in the refs back and have an old boy who sits two rows in front of me who starts every game by turning round and asking me if I'm going to be nice to the ref this time.

Pretty much everyone around us is nice, although we do have a bloke in his late 50s three seats to our left who is quite unpleasant and every opposition substitute, every single one, is met with him feebly shouting "Never heard of ya" which I'm sure upsets said substitute greatly, and then often follows up with thinly veiled racist comments about the origin of their name, or telling them to go back where they came from. Not nice.

On the lighter side, we have a guy who sits behind us who's answer to everything is either "I know where you live" (apparently he's a gardener for some of them) and "Bring on Hoolahan" even when he's not on the bench. My wife really hates having to listen to him ha ha.

 

[Killiecanary]

We are in the Upper Barclay.

There are some absolutely lovely people around us, and my now 8 year old son has been in his seat there since he was 5 and they couldn't have been nicer to him. Genuinely a lovely place to be and I am very grateful to them.

That said there is a bloke in front of us who blames Snodgrass for everything (stock shout 'f***off back to Scotland Snodgrass you useless f***er!)

Genuinely intrigued to see who the target for his ire is going to be this season! (Unless it is an anti- Scottish thing in which case it will probably be me!!)

 

[Paul Handscombe]

I'm in Upper N&P block P as well about 3 rows from the back

 

[GazzaTCC]

I just yearn for such freaks of nature. The most outrageous thing in the 59ers lounge is usually the sound of snoring or the grumbling at half time because the custard creams have all been pinched

 

[BarclayBoy88]

Lower Barclay Block D, sat around the area for a while now but got a new seat towards the back this year, so looking forward to seeing who I've got.

Last year the bloke in front of me barely watched the game and screamed and shouted at every oppurtunity. Took no enjoyment in watching the guys and at one point I actually asked him why he bothered if he hated everything about the football club. if he wasn't moaning about the players, it was the manager, or the staff, or delia, or the board, or the facilities, or the food. Did my head in. Otherwise it's a good group down there. We have the Becchio fan, who says at least 20 times a game, "Becchio would score a hatful but we just don't give him the chance'....there is the sprinter, who races down the stairs every time we come close or score a goal.

 

[splutcho]

.there is the sprinter, who races down the stairs every time we come close or score a goal.

Sounds harsh, but I always think it'd be hilarious if they fell head over heels. There is literally no need to sprint to the front.

 

[BarclayBoy88]

Sounds harsh, but I always think it'd be hilarious if they fell head over heels. There is literally no need to sprint to the front.

He almost did last year when Tettey scored that stunner...